


I see the real you

by Trobedzone



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, More tags to be added, Porn, Sleepy Cuddles, jock Troy Barnes, nerd Abed nadir
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trobedzone/pseuds/Trobedzone
Summary: Troy wants Abed, he wants his arms around him, he wants to kiss him, he wants to let himself love him but he can’t because he’s not gay, right?*UPDATED NOW IN THIRD PERSON POV*
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. You’re different when you’re with me

**Author's Note:**

> //Cw//  
> Sex, internalized homophobia

Abed felt hands grab his wrists and shove him against the lockers. This happened every day, the same popular jock pushed him around and called him names.

“Loser!” The boy teased.

Abed chuckled. 

“What’s so funny?!” He sneered.

“Nothing, you just seem to really enjoy pinning me against lockers, I wonder if you’d enjoy being pinned down to my bed.” Abed grinned.

“W-What?!” Troy squeaked.

“I bet my name would sound so pretty on your lips, I could make you scream so loud.” 

A whine arose in Troys throat and he lost his grip on Abed’s wrists, giving him an opportunity to lean in closer.

“Imagine me fucking you so perfectly,” He whispered against his ear. 

“I-I’m-” Troy stuttered.

“Don’t try to lie, sweetheart, I’ll be in the parking lot after your game. I bet I could make you come so hard, I’d fucking wreak you.” Abed mumbled and walked away, leaving Troy standing there alone and stunned. 

He grinned down at his shoes as he walked to his last class.   
***

The end of the night came fast, Abed sat in his car tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, wondering if Troy would actually show up or not. The entire parking lot cleared out and just as he was about to leave he heard a soft tap on his window.

Abed unlocked the door and Troy got in the car quickly.

“Troy,” He said, nodding his head at him.

“Abed.” He grumbled.

“Oh, I’m Abed now? Not loser? Or Nerd?” He laughed sarcastically.

“Can we just go back to your place?” Troy asked, sighing impatiently.

“Mmhm.” He hummed and started the car.

They drove back to Abed’s small apartment, the ride was awkward and filled with sexual tension.  
Troys eyes remained glued to the floor and his face stayed a dark shade of red the entire time. 

Why was Abeds heart beating so fast?! No one made him nervous.

“We are here,” He said quietly. 

Troy undid his seatbelt and got out of the car.

They walked up the stairs in utter silence, when they finally got to the floor Abeds apartment was on of course now was the time he had to struggle to open his door. 

Troy chuckled and flashed him a warm smile. His smile was really nice, and he smelt like peach shower gel. 

“Do you want some help?” He offered.

Abed let out an annoyed sigh and nodded. He took the key from him and leaned his weight against the door as he turned it in the lock. It opened within seconds. 

“There we go.” He grinned and passed the key back to Abed. 

Abed placed it in the small bowl on his desk and Troy closed the door behind them.

Abed set his bag down on the floor and turned to him. Troy slipped off his jacket and hung it on a hook. Abed stepped closer then shoved Troy against the wall.

“How does it feel to be pinned again the wall hm?” He mumbled.

Troy whined and put his hands on Abeds waist.

“I want you.” He whispered.

“Say it louder,” Abed smirked.

“Fuck, Abed, I want you so bad.” He begged.

He smashed his lips into Troys, instantly getting a minty chapstick taste in his mouth.

“Fuck you’re so hot!” He groaned sucking on Abeds bottom lip. 

He grabbed a handful of Troys ass, making him whine and push up Abed’s shirt. 

They broke the kiss so he could pull Abed’s shirt the rest of the way off. 

“You look so good, Abed.” He whispered against Abeds neck.

He flipped their positions and shoved Abed against the door. He sucked hard at his skin, trying desperately to leave marks. Abed slid his hand under his shirt and brushed his fingers over his nipples making him whimper and lose track of his actions. 

”fuck.” Troy groaned grinding his hips forwards against him.

Abed grabbed Troys hips and pulled his body closer.

“Couch. Now.” He muttered.

Troy backed up and laid down on the couch, Abed sat between his legs and pulled his shirt over his head then tossed it to the side.

“So fucking hot,” Abed mumbled under his breath as he kissed his way down Troy’s chest.

Troy moaned and shut his eyes as Abed flicked his tongue against Troys nipple.

“Please.” He whimpered.

He gently mouthed over his nipple driving him crazy. Troy slipped his fingers in Abeds belt loops pulling his hips down so he could grind against him. Abed unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans then pulled them off.

“Have you done this before, baby?” He asked, softly as he undid his own jeans.

“Not with another guy but I um, I use my fingers,” Troy mumbled shyly. 

“I bet you look so hot fucking yourself,” He smirked. 

Troy whined and rolled his hips against Abed.

He reached up and tugged off his jeans the rest of the way. 

Abed rolled his hips down against Troys again causing him to bite his lip and throw his head back.  
“Please.” He whined.

Abed chuckled and kissed his way up Troys stomach to his chest. He grazed his teeth over his nipple and started to suck softly.

Troy bucked his hips and cried out.

Abed looked up at him, without removing his mouth from his nipple.

“Can we switch positions?” Troy smirked.

He nodded and got off him. He carefully rolled off the couch and Abed laid back down so Troy could be on top.

“I want to show you how good I am at making you feel good.” He mumbled and kissed Abeds neck. He sucked hard at his collarbone, leaving a mark for sure.

His lips tracked down Abeds chest and his tongue ran over his nipple.

“Fuck.” Abed muttered under his breath. 

He looked up at him with a proud smirk then sucked harder.

“You feel so good, Troy.” Abed cried out, earning a whimper from him. His brain was on autopilot, why was he letting Troy do this to him?! He was always the top, he was making himself look pathetic. 

“Sit back.” Troy ordered.

Abed sat back more on the couch giving Troy space to be sitting in front of him.  
Troy palmed his crotch, catching him off guard and causing him to buck his hips.

He chuckled and pulled off Abeds underwear in one swift moment.

He was completely exposed. He watched Troys eyes widen and his tongue glide over his bottom lip.

Troy leaned down and kissed up Abeds thighs. 

“I’m better than you.” He mumbled against his inner thigh. 

Those words for some reason put Abeds brain back on track. 

He reached down and grabbed Troys hair tilting his head up so his gaze would meet Abeds.

“You won’t be saying that while I’m wreaking you.” Abed laughed.

Troy flushed red and swallowed hard.

“But go ahead Troy, make me feel good. Show me how much of a good boy you are. My good boy.” Abed teased.

Troy moaned softly and leaned down to take Abed in his mouth. 

Abed bit his lip, holding back a moan, when Troy pushed him farther down his throat.

“Fuck, you’re so good.” He told Troy.

Troy looked up at Abed innocently as he flicked his tongue against his dick.

Abed groaned and grabbed Troys hair, as he took him all the way in his mouth.

“T-Troy, holy fuck.” He cried out.

Abed pulled him off gently by tugging at his hair, Troy stared back at him, spit dripping down from his mouth, lips shiny with saliva. 

“Sorry baby, but if you don’t stop you’re gonna make me come,” Abed muttered breathlessly. 

“You are so good, such a good boy for me,” He added .

“You’re so hot.” Troy whispered and leaned down to trail kisses up his chest.

Abed slipped out from under him, making him whine at the loss of contact.  
He pushed Troy back on the couch and climbed on top.

“Is it okay if I take these off? I want to see all of you.” Abed mumbled against his thigh.

Troy whimpered and bit his lip before nodding vigorously.  
He pulled off Troys underwear leaving him completely exposed.

Troy looked down at Abed, face red with embarrassment.

He gently put his hand on his thigh.

“You okay?” Abed asked softly.

“Yes, thank you.” He answered.

Troy's gaze was so gentle and loving, it wasn’t the normal look he had in his eyes at school.  
Part of Abed just wanted to cuddle with him and ask him what’s on his mind.

He felt his fingers lace in his hair and tug gently causing him to snap out of his thoughts and go back to what he was doing.

“I’m going to work you open okay?” Abed said.  
Troy nodded and let go of his hair so he could get up.

Abed stood up and grabbed the lube from his bedside table. Then went back to his spot in between Troys legs. He poured some lube on his fingers then gently messaged Troys rim. Troy clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. He pushed a finger in making sure to study his face for any signs of discomfort. 

Troy breathed shakily and latched onto Abeds hair.

He moved his finger, slowly stretching him open.

“M-More.” Troy stuttered out. 

He added another finger, moving them a little faster, Troy quickly became a panting mess.  
Abed flexed his fingers and Troys grip on his hair tightened.

“Fuck!” He cried out.

“Please just fuck me, Abed.” He begged.

“Star football player begging to be fucked by the nerd, how cute.” Abed chuckled.

“Please.” He whined.

Abed pulled his fingers out and added more lube to his hand before pumping his cock a few times and lining himself up with Troys hole.

“A-Abed.” He whimpered.

He pushed into him without any warning causing Troy to loudly cry out.

“You’re so fucking tight.” Abed moaned and fucked into him.

Troy dug his fingernails into Abeds back and breathed shakily.

“H-Harder.”

“Beg. I want to hear you beg.” Abed grinned.

“Abed, please fuck, you’re so hot, please fuck me harder,” Troy begged.

Abed leaned down and trailed kisses up his neck.

“You’re so hot when you beg, are you sorry for constantly picking on me, Troy? I should be punishing you right now.” He whispered against his ear.

“I’m sorry Abed, I’ve always wanted you, please, p-please, harder.” He cried.

“Okay, baby boy.” Abed chuckled.

He quickened his pace and moved his lips back to Troys neck, sucking hickeys into his skin.

“Abed, holy fuck.” Troy moaned.

“Such a pretty hole, so tight and all mine, you’re all mine Troy.” He mumbled against his skin.

“Yes, all yours.” He whined.

Abed grabbed his wrists, pinned them down and slammed into him.

“Abed, Abed, Abed, Fuck!” Troy moaned.

Abed wrapped his hand around Troys dick and jerked him off.

“Do you feel good, Troy?” He asked teasingly, brushing his lips against Troys ear. 

“So good.” He whined.

Troy lifted his free hand and grabbed Abeds face, pulling him into a kiss.

His lips were so soft and he tasted so good, this all felt so fucking good.

Troy bit Abeds bottom lip causing him to whimper softly. He pulled away and smiled.

“You sound so pretty.” Troy whispered.

Those words made Abeds heartache, part of him always wanted to hear Troy say nice things to him, part of him always wanted him to fall asleep wrapped up in Troys arms. He knew him, he swore he did, Troy wasn’t an asshole jock, underneath he was a complete sweetheart. 

Troys fingernails dug into Abeds back snapping him out of his thoughts.

“I’m gonna come.”’ He cried. 

“Come for me, Troy,” Abed muttered.

He pumped Troys cock a few more times making him spill over his hand with a loud cry of his name.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Abed whimpered.

He pulled out and came on Troys stomach.

Troys breaths were tired and unsteady.

Abed got off the couch and grabbed a washcloth from his bathroom. When he came back Troys eyes were closed tightly and his hands were still shaky. He gently wiped off his stomach and kissed his forehead before going back to the bathroom to clean himself up.

“Do you want some clothes?” Abed called out.

“Do you have sweatpants?” Troy asked softly.

“Of course.” He smiled.

Abed dug through his drawer and pulled out a pair of sweatpants then tossed them to Troy. Abed got changed into boxers and an oversized shirt.

“You’re welcome to stay the night, or I can get you an Uber.” He offered.

“You sure that it’s okay if I stay?” Troy asked.

“It isn’t a problem at all,” He assured.

“Would it be gay if I asked you to cuddle?” Troy questioned, Abed could tell Troys voice was on the verge of breaking.

“Come here, also, We just had sex, Troy,” Abed said, opening his arms. 

Troy got off the couch and slid into the bottom bunk with him. He cuddled into his chest and Abed wrapped his arms around him.

“Is this wrong?” He mumbled shakily.

“Is what wrong baby?” Abed asked softly.

“What we did?! Me being with a guy? I- I- don’t mean to feel like this but I really like you Abed.” He cried.

Abed cupped his face and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Troy. It’s not wrong, you can’t control the way you feel, it’s okay. I’d never judge you, I like you too.” He whispered.

“How can you like me? I constantly hurt you.” Troy sobbed.

Abed pressed kisses to his cheeks, nose and forehead.

“Because I see you, I know you aren’t like that, I see through the mask you wear, I can tell you’re a sweetheart.” 

Troy blushed and smiled weakly.

“My dad will kill me, this isn’t right, I shouldn’t feel like this, I shouldn’t be here, I should have a girlfriend, I shouldn’t like guys. I shouldn’t like-“ Troy cried.

“Hey, shh, shh, it’s okay. Just breathe, baby.” He whispered and pulled Troy closer.

“I like you so much, Abed. You’re the reason I get out of bed in them-morning. I’m so sorry for picking on y-you, I felt like it was the only way I could be c-close to you without people thinking I’m gay. I always want to be close to you.” He rambled.

He rubbed circles around Troys back and pressed kisses to his head.

“I’ll be here, I’ll help you accept yourself, I’ll be by your side, you can stay here as much as you’d like, we can be together if you want, we can do the secret relationship trope.”  
Abed said softly. 

Troy nuzzled his head into the crook of Abeds neck.

“Thank you so much.” He whispered.

“what type of shower gel do you use? Sorry, that’s weird but you smell so good, is that peach?” Abed questioned.

Troy laughed weakly and lifted his head to look at him.

“Peach mango.” He smiled.

Abed leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re adorable,” He told him.

“It’s been a long time since I felt this but I'm really happy right now.” He mumbled into my chest.

“Me too,” Abed replied.


	2. I'm not gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: sexual content, internalized homophobia

Abed woke up expecting Troy to be gone, but he wasn’t, he was curled up into his side, snoring softly. He was adorable, his face was pressed into the crook of Abeds neck and one of his arms was draped over his waist. Abed brushed his fingers through Troys hair and kissed his forehead. 

His eyes fluttered open and Abed pressed another kiss to his face.

“Good morning baby.” Abed whispered.

A wave of sadness came over Troy and he slipped out of his grip.

“I have to go.” He muttered, getting out of bed.

“What? Why?” Abed asked sitting up.

“I shouldn’t be here, Abed.” Troy said.

“Just come back to bed, it’s Saturday, we don’t have school, we could just cuddle all day.” He smiled weakly.

“I can’t. I can’t be here.” Troy mumbled.

“But last night, you said- you said you were happy. You said that y-you liked me and you always want to be close to me. Just stay with me Troy please. I don’t want to be alone right now.” Abed begged.

Troy had sympathy in his eyes, Abed could tell he wasn’t saying something he wanted to say. 

He got out of bed and put his hands on Troys waist.

“Please.” He whispered.

“I can’t.” Troy said, tears welled up in his eyes.

Abed moved his hands to cup his face. 

“You can, stay here, let me hold you. Everything is gonna be okay baby, I’ll be here.” Abed assured him.

Troy closed his eyes and shook his head. He stepped away from Abeds touch and started to grab his clothes.

“Where did this hoodie come from?” He asked, pulling off the pink hoodie that he was wearing.

“You got cold in the middle of the night so I gave it to you.” Abed said quietly.

Troy nodded.

“I’m gonna get changed.” He mumbled and walked past Abed to the bathroom.

Why was he being like this? Why did Abed already feel so attached to him. He sat down on his bed, waiting for Troy to come out of the washroom. 

He walked out and placed the folded clothes on the dresser then picked up his bag. Abed lunged forward and wrapped his arms around him.

“Please stay, don’t leave, please don’t leave me.” He cried holding him tighter.

This was all too familiar, him holding someone and begging them not to walk away. Begging for them not to leave him alone. When deep down he knew they would leave. Just like his mom.

“Please, Troy, baby, please stay, I don’t want to be alone.” He sobbed, tightening his grip. 

Troy put his hands on Abeds shoulders and shoved him to the ground. 

“I’m not gay!” Troy snapped.

The anger in his eyes scared Abed, it wasn’t like the look in his eyes at school. He looked so angry and it terrified him. 

Troy left his apartment slamming the door behind him. He sat on the floor staring at the door, hoping he’d walk back through it, saying he’s sorry and that he just wants Abeds arms around him again.

Troy walked out of the building quickly, tears poured down his face. He just hurt Abed and he didn’t deserve it at all. He was nice to him after Troy was an absolute dick to him. Everything he was begging for was exactly what Troy wanted. 

He wanted his arms around him, he wanted his lips against his and for him to call him ‘baby’ but he couldn’t have that, he couldn’t have him. He wasn’t gay. 

Troy walked back to his house, rain began to pour down soaking his clothes. He could be in Abeds bed right now, his arms could be around him holding him close and keeping him warm. Abed could be smiling at him and telling him that he’s valid. Instead Troy was walking home shivering and alone.

The weekend went by slowly, the days were filled with Troys and his dad fighting and yelling at each other, Troy spent hours alone in his bed trying to sleep. The thought of Abed didn’t leave his mind once. By the time Monday rolled around he was exhausted, his whole body ached from crying. Troy forced himself out of bed and into the bathroom to shower. He stripped out of his clothes and looked at himself in the mirror. Troy noticed all the hickeys Abed left. 3 dark purple marks on his neck, a couple on his shoulders and collarbone. Memories of Friday night came back, how good he felt, his hands on Troys body, his lips against his skin. His raspy whispers in his ear. 

It was so hot and he made him feel like the most important person in the world. He hated himself for how hard he got just thinking about Abed. He stepped into the shower. He couldn’t shake the thought of Abed pinning his wrists down and fucking him so perfectly. Lips tracking down his jaw and neck. Troy wrapped his hand around his dick, imagining it was Abeds. He put his other hand over his mouth, muffling the constant whimpers leaving his lips. Imaging Abed was the one forcing him to keep quiet. This was so fucking wrong, so why did it feel so right? He moved his hand faster.

“A-Abed.” Troy mumbled breathlessly.

He bit down on his bottom lip and came. So much guilt came over him, He shouldn’t be thinking of a guy, He’s not gay, He shouldn’t have ever slept with Abed, He shouldn’t have ever been such an asshole to Abed either. He finished in the shower, dried himself off and got dressed. Tears welled up in his eyes when He smelt the scent of the peach mango shower gel lingering on his body. His heart ached, he missed his voice so much. He pulled on his jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder. Then went out the door to begin his walk to school.

On Troys way to his second class he saw Abed walking down the hall, clutching his books close to his chest. His eyes were red and bloodshot and he was wearing the same pink hoodie he let Troy wear the night he stayed over. No matter how tired and broken Abed looked he still somehow looked so beautiful. His hair was curly and hung down across his forehead. He met Troys gaze and fear filled his eyes, he never looked at him like that, was he scared of him?

“Yo Troy!” He heard Brian call. 

Troy tore his gaze away from Abed and looked at Brian. He mouthed the words ‘push him’ and pointed to Abed. Troy couldn’t do that. Abed looked so broken already.

“Come on dude! Just shove him!” Brain called.

Abed looked at him, tears welled up in his eyes.   
“Just do it.” He whispered brokenly.

Troy knocked his books out of his hands and pushed him into the lockers.

“Nice! Catch you later dude.” Brian chuckled, punching Troys shoulder playfully.

He rushed off to class leaving Abed and Troy alone in the hallway. He knelt down and picked up Abeds books then helped him off the floor.

“I’m sorry,” He muttered.

Abed rubbed his thumb against Troys knuckles.

“You’re hurting Troy, don’t do this to yourself.” Abed whispered.

“I’m fine,” 

“Just let me take care of you, I can see it in your eyes, you are hurting so much.” Abed pleaded.

“I have to go to class.” Troy said quietly and walked away.


	3. KickPuncher 4: the return of PunchKicker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if you find any grammar errors, please let me know

Monday is the first day of the second-semester meaning Troy had science, something he was absolutely terrible at. George was throwing a party at his house tonight for everyone passing their midterms. Troy didn’t want to go, he wanted to be with Abed. Abed and him haven’t had an actual full-on conversation for weeks, it was terrible, he just wanted to hear his voice again. He gave Troy sympathetic looks and sad smiles in the hallways. That wasn’t enough though because his skin was screaming for Abeds touch. Troys dad has been on his back about getting a girlfriend and getting his grades up every day. He couldn’t take it anymore, that night he spent with Abed was the last night he could feel something. For the short while he had his arms around Troy was the last time he felt happy. 

His phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. 

“Hello,” Troy muttered.

“You coming to the party dude?” George asked. 

He could hear the booming music coming from the other line.

“Nah man, I don’t feel like it, my dad’s on my back about preparing for the next semester, sorry dude.” He lied.

“Whatever man, talk to you soon.’” George said before ending the call.

Troy looked through the movies playing at the theatre until he found one that caught his eye.

‘KickPuncher 4: the return of PunchKicker’

He grabbed his jacket and wallet and went down the stairs to find his dad.

“Can I borrow the car?” Troy questioned.

“For what?” He grumbled.

“I’m gonna go see a movie.” 

“With who?” He asked, averting his gaze to look at Troy.

“I’m just going myself, everyone’s at a party that I don't want to go to,” He mumbled.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” His dad questioned. 

“Focusing on my grades,” 

“Your grades are shit, the only thing you are good at is football.”

“Can I use the car or not?” Troy snapped.

“Fine.” He mumbled and pointed to the keys. 

Troy snatched them off the table and rushed out the door. No matter how terrible the Kick Puncher movies are they still always brought him joy, making fun of shitty movies is probably one of the best things to do. The parking lot was mostly empty since Kick Puncher was the last movie playing tonight and no one liked it.

He parked the car and went into the theatre, just as he thought, the theatre was completely empty. It could be due to the fact he was still 20 minutes early. Troy pulled out his phone and scrolled through Instagram until a name caught his eye. Friend suggestions ‘Abed Nadir’. He clicked on his profile and saw his posts. He only had three, but he looked gorgeous.

“Stalking my Instagram I see.” Someone chuckled.

Troy looked up and flushed red. 

“No, I-just um-” He stuttered.

“Relax, I don’t care. I just wanted to say hi.” Abed mumbled. 

He turned to walk away.

“Wait!” Troy shouted.

Abed turned around and looked at him.  
“You can sit with me if you want,” Troy said quietly.

“Okay, are you sure, I don’t want to bother you.” 

“You never bother me Abed.” 

Abed sat down next to him, His voice, it was so nice to hear his voice again. 

“You like KickPuncher?” Abed questioned.

“It’s one of my favourite things to watch, I like making fun of it and I just love the movie in general ” He smiled.

“Me too, for the exact reason, I'm usually the only one in the theatre, which is really cool because I can make fun of it out loud.” Abed laughed.

“Sounds fun.”

“How are you?” Abed softly asked.

“I’m Okay-” Troy said quietly.

Abed placed his hand on top of Troys.

“You can be honest with me.” He whispered.

He rubbed his thumb against Troys knuckles.

He lifted his head and looked into Abeds eyes.

“I’m a mess,” Troy muttered.

“I miss you, so fucking much.” He cried.

“Troy, baby, you don’t need to miss me, you can have me,” Abed said softly.

“I can’t Abed, it’s not right, I shouldn’t want to spend every second with you, I shouldn't constantly miss every part of you, but I do. It’s wrong.” Troy whimpered.

“It’s not wrong, you are so valid Troy, I support you for who you are, I know you don’t support yourself but if you would let me, I want to be by your side telling you how perfect you are until you do.” Abed pleaded.

“Why would you want to do that? I’ve been horrible to you,” He muttered.

Abed leaned his forehead against Troys.

“Because you’re worth it and I’ve never felt this way about someone.” He whispered.   
Troy could feel his breath against his lips, he smelt like cherry chapstick. 

“Me neither,” Troy whispered.

Abed put his hand on Troys cheek and leaned in to kiss him, his lips felt like a breath of fresh air. He tasted so good, how could something so wrong, feel so fucking right?

“Okay,” Troy whispered against his lips.

“I want to be with you, just not at school, I’m not ready for that, I don’t even know if I’m ready for this, but I want to try.” 

“I’m so proud of you Troy,” Abed said.  
“Thank you,” 

The movie started and Troy rested his head on Abed's shoulder, they spent the majority of the movie throwing popcorn at the screen and laughing, it felt nice. 

The movie ended and the credits rolled.

“Did you like it?” Abed asked. 

“Absolutely and I liked watching it with you.” He smiled.

Abed’s face lit up and he kissed his cheek.

“Did you like it?” Troy questioned.

“This was my third time seeing it and definitely my favourite.” He said.

“Really third? Why was this time your favourite?” He grinned.

“You know why baby.” Abed chuckled. 

He pressed Troy against the wall and kissed him.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered.

“You’re fucking stunning,” Troy muttered.

“You are perfect Troy, everything about you.” 

Tears welled up in his eyes and he put his hands on either side of Abed’s face.

“I missed you so fucking much, I’m sorry I left that day Abed, I’m sorry I pushed you, I’m sorry I yelled at you, I was so scared, I’ve never felt this way before. You are so fucking important to me. I want to let myself like you but I’m afraid I’ll just push you away.” Troy cried.

“You notice how you tried to push me away multiple times but I’m still here. I won’t let you push me away.” 

Abed leaned in and kissed Troys tears.

I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered.

Troy wrapped his arms around Abed and buried his face in his chest.

“Please don’t.” He whimpered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments bring me lots of joy so comment comment comment 
> 
> Follow my Tumblr @Trobedzone


	4. You are perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Homophobia

“Got any plans later?” Abed asked as they walked out of the movie theatre.

“My dad will kill me if I’m not home before 12.” Troy sighed.

“Damn, I’ll see you tomorrow maybe?” Abed suggested he let go of Troys hand when they got outside.

“I don’t really wanna leave you, I have an idea, I’ll go home give my dad his car back and go up to my room, then I can sneak back out. If you’re okay with that?” He asked nervously.

“Cool. cool, cool, cool. I’m absolutely okay with that, do you want me to meet you outback? I don’t think I ever got your number?” Abed said.

“Oh right! Here,” Troy smiled and typed the number into Abeds phone. 

“What name should I put?” He asked.

“First thought that comes to your brain!” Abed answered.

“Constable Reggie it is.” Troy chuckled.

“As in, Constable Reggie from Inspector Spacetime?” Abed beamed.

“Wait... you know Inspector Spacetime?” He shot back.

“You didn’t see the posters in my room?! I love Inspector Spacetime!” Abed smiled.

“Damn you just keep getting better and better!” He laughed. 

Abed flushed red and grinned down at his shoes.

“See you later then?” Abed asked.

“Yeah, I’ll text you,” Troy said.

“Bye, baby.” He whispered. 

“Bye, Abed.” He smiled.

Troy got in his car and couldn’t fight back the smile on his face. Then it hit him, this was so wrong. Abed making his heart beat faster, Abed kissing him, holding his hand and calling him baby, it was so fucking wrong. 

Troys phone dinged and he picked it up to look at the notification.

“Hey Constable just wanted to remind you that you’re absolutely perfect and so valid. <3” 

Troy smiled and read the words over again and again.

“You’re valid.” It felt so good to read those words.

He changed Abeds name to Inspector and texted back.

“Thanks, I really needed to hear that💖”

Troy put his phone away and drove back home.

“You’re 20 minutes late boy!” His dad shouted.

“Sorry, traffic.” Troy lied.

“There is no traffic. Who were you with?” His dad spat.

“No one, I told you I went by myself,” Troy mumbled.

“Stop mumbling!” He snapped.

“Sorry, I’m gonna go to bed!” He said.

“Did you get a new cologne?! Wait... you aren’t gay, are you?! No son of mine is gay!” His dad roared.

“No, it’s mine! Why would I be gay? That’s gross.” He replied.

“Good. See you tomorrow.” His dad muttered and went to his room.

Troy stomped up to his room, fighting back tears. He slipped out his window and climbed down the vines on the side of his house. 

“Pick me up 4 houses down, here’s my address *attached address*.” He texted Abed.

“See you soon, baby.” Abed responded. 

He picked him up within two minutes and smiled warmly.

“Hi.” He said softly.

“Hey,” Troy mumbled.

They drove back to his place in silence, Troy couldn’t wait to just fall into Abeds embrace and cry. 

As soon as they walked through the door of his apartment, Troy completely broke down.

“Baby, come here,” Abed said softly, after laying down on his bed. 

He crawled into bed next to him and buried his face in Abeds chest. 

“I c-can't do- I-“ Troy stuttered frantically.

“Sweetheart, just focus on breathing okay? When you’re ready to talk I’ll be right here to listen.” He whispered and kissed his forehead.

Troy tightened his grip on him and cried. Abed ran his fingers through Troys hair whispering soft words of reassurance. His breathing eventually slowed down and Troy lifted his head to look at him. 

“How are you baby? What’s on your mind?” He asked softly.

He leaned in closer.

“Can you kiss me? This might sound stupid but your kisses are like medicine.” Troy whispered.

“It doesn’t sound stupid at all.”

Abed leaned in and pecked his lips then covered the rest of his face in gentle kisses. 

“You’re so goddamn perfect.” He said.

“My dad freaked out on me when I went home, he was grilling me about being with someone, then he asked if I was with a guy and if I was gay. He said n-no son of m-mine is gay.” Troy stuttered out. 

Abed pressed another kiss to his forehead.

“You. Are. Fantastic. Don’t. Let. Anyone. Tell. You. Otherwise.” Abed mumbled, pressing kisses to his face in between each word. 

“Thank you,” He whispered and buried his face in the crook of Abeds neck.

“Do you want some clothes, baby? Sleeping in jeans won’t be very comfortable.” He offered.

“Is it alright if I just sleep in my boxers?” Troy asked.

“Of course, I have to get changed too,” Abed mumbled.

Troy got out of bed and stripped down to his boxers, Abed did the same then grabbed a shirt and pulled it over his head.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that right?” Abed said, admiring him. 

“I know.” Troy grinned.

Abed giggled and wrapped his arms around Troy, pulling him back into bed.

“For the record, you’re beautiful too,” Troy whispered.

He blushed and kissed him. 

“Abed, can we be boyfriends, like secret boyfriends?” He questioned.

“Absolutely.” Abed beamed.

Abed held Troy close and he buried his face back in the crook of Abeds neck.

“Goodnight, baby.” 

“Goodnight,” Troy mumbled against his skin.

****

Troy woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, He slipped out of Abed's grip and answered it.

“Hello.” He groggily answered. 

“Hey dude, sorry to call so early,” George said. 

“Oh, hey. It’s fine I was already awake,” Troy lied, sitting back down on the bed.

“Cool, okay, are you free later?” He asked.

Abed opened his eyes and sat up, leaning his forehead against Troys shoulder. 

“Um.” 

He looked over at Abed, half asleep leaning his body weight against him. 

“What time is it?” Troy questioned.

“7:03!” George replied.

“We can go get coffee or something? I just have a few things to do later.” He said.

Abed lifted his head and winked at Troy, mouthing the words ‘me too’. 

“Sure, sounds good, I can pick you up in 5 minutes, are you home?” 

“Just at a friend’s. I can text you their address, I’ll meet you out front.” He answered.

“Alright dude, see you soon,” George said happily and hung up.

Abed pressed a kiss to Troys bare shoulder.

“You’re leaving? Morning is like the best time for cuddles.” Abed whined.

“I’ll be back in less than an hour, I promise,” Troy assured him.

Abed groaned and pulled him closer.

“Bring me coffee okay?” He said.

“Sure,” Troy whispered and kissed him.

“I have to get up, he’s gonna be here in 5 minutes.”

Abed tightened his grip.

“You aren’t going anywhere.” He giggled.

Troy flipped them over and pinned his wrists down to the bed.

“Really?” He grinned.

Abed flushed red.

“I’ll be back soon okay?” 

“No!” Abed pouted.

He leaned down and kissed along Abeds jaw. “I’ll make it up to you when I get back,” He promised.

“Fine.” Abed smiled.

Troy climbed off him and grabbed his jeans off the floor.

A knock on Abed's door made his soul leave his body.

“Who is that?!” He whispered,

Abed shrugged.

“Troy can you like shout if you’re in there, this is where your pinned location said you were!” They heard George shout. 

“Uh yeah! Be out in just a second!” Troy called back.

He scrambled to grab his shirt and jacket then put them on.

“Do you want me to hide?” Abed asked.

“No, um, I think you’re good, hopefully,” He whispered back. 

He grabbed his bag and pressed a fast kiss to Abed's forehead, then awkwardly slipped out the door and George smiled at him. 

“I didn’t know you were friends with Abed.” He said.

“Hm?” Troy hummed in surprise.

“This is Abed Nadir's apartment right?”

“He’s the only person our age that lives in this building, that’s why I figured it was this one.” He added.

“Oh uh yeah, he’s helping me get ready for science.” He lied.

“Oh! Cool, yeah, he’s a real nice guy.” George smiled at his shoes.

“Yeah, he is,” Troy mumbled blushing.

“Where do you wanna get coffee?” He questioned.

“Um, Blue Stone Cafe?” Troy suggested.

“Sure. So are you and Abed friends or dating? How’d you meet him?” George asked.

“Dating?! WHAT?!” Troy blurted.

George shot him a look of confession.

“I don’t know, we slept together once, I definitely don’t regret it.” George chuckled.

“You slept with Abed?!” He mumbled in shock.

“Yeah?” George replied.

“When?!” 

“Beginning of the year, we were both just looking for a quick fuck I guess, I’ve got my boyfriends now so we don’t hook up anymore but yeah, he was pretty fucking good in bed.” He laughed.

“You’re gay?!” Troy shot back.

“Pansexual,” George replied.

“Oh, um, wow. Cool.” He mumbled getting into George’s car.

“Are you okay with that? You know, liking guys?” Troy asked.

“Of course, why?” 

“I don’t know, don’t you ever feel like you’re doing something wrong?”

“When... I first realized that I liked guys, yes, I felt that way. Now that I’m with Nick and Clay, they are my boyfriends by the way, I’m okay with it, I’ve learned to accept myself.” He paused, grinning. “They make me really happy, we literally stay up playing Minecraft and cuddling till 4 am, it’s pretty fucking fantastic.” George rambled, smiling widely.

“We’ve been friends for years?! How come I never knew?” He questioned.

“I was afraid of what you’d think to be honest.” He mumbled.

“I’m gay! Also, I think I’m falling in love with Abed!” Troy blurted.


	5. First day back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cw: Mentions of past deaths, Homophobic slurs and Internalized homophobia, Implied sexual content

George looked taken back.

“You and Abed are totally fucking aren’t you?” 

“That’s what you ask first?!” Troy laughed.

He shrugged.

“It’s a little obvious, no one goes to someone’s house before 7 am to study, plus the hickey is fresh.” George pointed out.

“When did he even do that?” Troy mumbled, rubbing at his collarbone.

“Anyways, congratulations dude, I’m proud of you!” George smiled and started the car.

“I kinda hate myself for it, to be honest, everything I do with Abed feels so right but there’s this voice in the back of my head telling me it’s wrong,” Troy explained.

George looked over at Troy and flashed him a sad smile.

“It’s not wrong Troy. He makes you happy, you can’t control who you fall in love with.” George said.

“I know, just-“ 

“You’re valid, you’re feelings are valid, and there isn’t anything wrong with you.” He added.

“Thank you. It’s really nice to hear that.” Troy smiled.

“Of course man, I wish someone was there to say those words to me when I was in your shoes, it takes time to fully accept yourself, just know you can always come to me,” George said.

“Same here, I mean, you can talk to me,” He replied.

“So, tell me about Abed,” George smirked.

Troy blushed and looked down at his shoes. 

“We are secretly dating, he’s just so great!” He beamed.

“That’s awesome, you two should hang out with Nick, Clay and me some time.” He suggested.

“Sure, just I’m not ready to be public with Abed yet,” Troy mumbled.

“That’s totally cool, it’ll just be like 5 dudes hanging out!” George said.

“Sweet!” 

George and Troy spent the entire time talking about their boyfriends and celebrity crushes, Troy grabbed a coffee for Abed then they drove back to his place.

“Do you mind if I come to say hi?” George asked.

“Sure, just he might still be asleep.” He chuckled as we walked up to his apartment. 

“I don’t know if I should knock or just go in,” Troy mumbled, fiddling with his jacket sleeves.

“Maybe just knock?” George suggested.

“Abed I’m back,” He said softly.

They heard him get out of bed, more like fall out of bed.

“You better be here to make it up to me, I’ve been thinking about fucking you all morning.” He shouted and opened the door.

His eyes widened when he saw George.

“I mean… fucking studying with you!” Abed laughed nervously.

“Relax babe, he knows.” Troy chuckled.

“Oh, thank god.” Abed blushed.

“Hi, Abed.” George smiled.

“Hello!” Abed yawned.

They walked into his apartment and closed the door behind them.

“How have you been?” George asked.

“I’ve been good, you?”

“Good!” George replied.

“Is that coffee for me?” Abed asked, reaching for the coffee.

“Oh yeah!” Troy said passing it to him.

“You’re the best!” He smiled and kissed his cheek.

“So, George, how’s Nick and Clay?” Abed questioned, leaning against Troy's shoulder.

“They are really good!” He beamed.

“Glad to hear it.” Abed smiled.

“Yeah, I’m really happy with them.” George grinned down at his shoes.

“How did I not know you two were friends?” Troy questioned, putting an arm around sleepy Abed's shoulders.

Abed nuzzled closer to Troy.

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen him for a while, he’s actually the reason Nick, Clay and I got together,” George said.

“Oh cool.” I smiled.

“Yeah, well I probably should leave you two alone. You guys are really fucking cute together.” He said happily.

“Thanks, and thank you for saying everything you said, it really helped,” Troy replied shyly.

“Of course dude, I meant it, there’s nothing wrong with you and I’m so proud of you for telling me. “ 

“Thanks, also, just please don’t tell anyone, I’m not ready for that yet,” Troy said.

“Of course man, tell people when you’re ready and only then, see you soon. Abed, you coming to Troys and my game tomorrow?” George asked.

Abed lifted his head and looked at him for permission.

Troy nodded with a smile.

“Yeah! Of course, I’ll be there.” He happily replied.

“Cool!”

“Cool cool cool.” Abed echoed.

“See you guys Monday.” George waved and left.

“So… you guys slept together?” He asked Abed.

He chuckled and buried his face in Troy's shoulder.

“Only twice or three times, he’s a really sweet guy.” 

Troy took the coffee from Abed and placed it on the dresser.

“Oh yeah?” He grinned and put his hands on Abed's waist.

“Better than me?” Troy pouted.

“Of course not baby, you’re my favourite,” Abed smirked and kissed him.

“Can I make it up to you now?” Troy grinned and pushed Abed back onto the bed. 

“Yes. Please.” 

***

Abed collapsed on top of Troy breathing heavily.

“Was that okay?” He mumbled against Troy's shoulder.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one making it up to you.” He breathed.

“You are making it up to me by being here and looking so hot.” Abed chuckled and kissed along Troy's jawline.

“You’re beautiful,” Troy whispered, pressing kisses to his cheeks.

“Abed, can I ask you something?” 

“Of course,” he replied.

“You’re 17 right?” 

“Yes,” Abed confirmed.

“Why do you live in an apartment all by yourself?” He questioned hesitantly.

“Well, um… my mom left when I was young, I came out to my dad when I was 16 and he kicked me out. I rented an apartment because I had a ton of money saved up, I was super close with my aunt, then she passed away, I miss her to death but turns out she left all her money to me.” Abed explained.

“I’m so sorry Abed, that’s horrible,” Troy mumbled, getting teary-eyed.

“Don’t cry sweetheart, I’m okay, it’s okay, I get by pretty good, I have some pretty good friends and I have you. Things are quite alright.” Abed assured.

“How do you accept yourself?” 

“I love who I am, I’ve got self-esteem flowing out of my butt, I’m really happy with you Troy.” He smiled.

“I’m really happy with you too, you’re so brave Abed, I’m so proud of you,” Troy whispered.

“I’m proud of you too and When do you have to be home?” Abed asked.

“After we take a nap.” He hummed.

“Sounds good,” Abed mumbled, nuzzling his head into the crook of Troy's neck.

  
  


*** 

Troy woke up early Monday morning and got in the shower. Science was his first-class and he definitely wasn’t looking forward to it. He also didn’t want to see Abed at school because Brian would probably somehow make him feel obligated to be mean to him. 

He combed his fingers through his hair and traced over the hickeys Abed covered his neck in. Then got changed and pulled on one of Abed's t-shirts along with jeans and his Riverside jacket. 

“Why have I barely seen you this weekend?! Where have you been?” His dad asked, looking up from the newspaper.

“Hanging out with friends,” He mumbled.

“What did I say about mumbling, boy?!” Troy's dad spat.

“Sorry, I was hanging out with my friends,” He said louder. 

“Not that fag George, I hope? I saw him kissing some boys outside of your school last week.” He muttered in disgust.

“No, no, I was with Brian,” Troy answered quickly.

“Good, he is wise.” 

“Okay, thanks yeah, bye,” He replied, before rushing out the door.

Troy's phone dinged and he pulled it out of his jacket pocket.

**➡️Morning baby, wish I could’ve woken up next to you this morning ;)**

⬅️ **_Me too :( Come to my game tonight, we can have fun after_ **

**➡️ can't wait, I miss you :’(**

**_⬅️ I miss you too, Inspector_ **

**➡️ you are making me smile like a complete idiot**

**_⬅️ awe, wish I was there to see you, you’ve got a pretty smile, babe_ **

**➡️ you’re sweet :) see you after the game, Constable**

**_⬅️ I want to apologize in advance for how I act at school_ **

**➡️ it’ll be okay sweetheart**

**_⬅️ okay :) <3_ **

Troy shoved his phone into his pocket and walked into the school.

“303, where’s 303,” He mumbled searching for the science room.

“Yo! Troy!” He heard a voice he absolutely hated call out. 

“Hey, Brian,” Troy mumbled.

“You got science too?” Brian asked.

“Yes,” He answered quietly.

“Man, I suck at science, I don’t know shit about countries and politics.” He muttered.

“Countries and politics?” Troy questioned, shooting him a confused look.

“That’s what science is, isn’t it?” He asked.

How fucking stupid is this kid?! He thought to himself. 

“That’s Geography.” Troy laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me! It’s practically the same thing!” Brian snapped.

“No, it’s not dude,” He muttered.

After a short while, they found the science room. Brian and Troy sat down next to each other. The rest of the class showed up, including Abed. He smiled shyly at Troy and took a seat at the back.

“Okay, class! Don’t get too comfortable where you are sitting, I will be assigning you, lab partners.” The teacher announced.

Brian groaned and leaned to whisper in Troy's ear.

“Bet I get stuck with that loser Abed kid.” Brian chuckled.

“Probably,” Troy whispered back.

“Malcolm and Reese, you will be lab partners.”

“Brian and Kody, you’re partners.” 

Great the two dumbest kids in the class paired together, that’s a great idea, Troy thought to himself.

“Troy and Abed, partners.” She said.

Brian looked over at Troy and laughed. 

“Damn dude, you got stuck with the loser!” He snickered.

“Fuck!” Troy whined, hitting his fist against the table.

“TROY BARNES! LANGUAGE!” The teacher shouted.

“Sorry,” He muttered and picked up his stuff.

He slung his backpack over his shoulder and carried his books to the back, where Abed sat.

“Jock and nerd get paired together, classic movie trope,” Abed whispered.

Troy smiled down at his shoes.

Abed squeezed Troy's hand under the table and mouthed the words “I missed you.” 

He mouthed them back and grinned, maybe science wouldn’t be that bad after all.


	6. but I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: mild sexual content, homophobia, mentions of blood

It was almost impossible for Troy to focus on science while trying not to get caught staring at Abed.

“Sorry about the heat everyone, this room is always the hottest in the school.” The teacher mumbled.

“It’s boiling,” Abed whined and pulled off his sweater leaving him in a tight, lacey, baby blue crop top. That made Troy lose his breath. Abed looked over at him and smirked.

Troy quickly pulled out his phone to text him. 

**⬅️you can’t do this, do you have any idea how fucking hot you look right now?!!**

Abed grinned down at his phone and typed back a response.

**_➡️ maybe, I miss touching you, baby._ **

**⬅️ meet me at janitors closet please, it’s technically a movie trope right?**

**_➡️ yeah, but I do enjoy teasing you_ **

**⬅️ ABED PLEASE!!!!!!**

**_➡️ fine, I’ll leave, you leave 2 minutes after_ **

“Mrs. Slater is it okay if I get fresh air I don’t feel very good,” Abed questioned.

“Yeah, yeah go, be back in 15 minutes.” She mumbled looking up from her textbook.

Abed left and Troy waited impatiently for 2 minutes.

“Can I also get air? I’m sorry, I feel sick!” He lied.

“Yes, go!” She groaned.

He got up from his desk and hurried out of the room, thank god Brian was completely distracted by Kody.

Troy found Abed waiting around the corner at one of the janitor’s closets.

“It’s locked.” He groaned.

“Fuck!” Troy whined.

“We could actually just go outside like we said we were, there’s no one by the bleachers we can just make out there,” Abed whispered.

“Good point, let’s go.” He replied quickly.

As soon as they got out there Abed's hands were all over Troy, it seemed he wanted this just as bad as Troy did.

“You’re so fucking hot.” Troy moaned into the kiss, tracing his fingers up and down Abed's sides.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my hands off you in class?” He replied, whining desperately as Troy tugged on his hair.

“You have a hard time keeping your hands off me?! Do you see what you’re wearing?! Fuck Abed.” He cried.

“You’re so hot like this, I love when you’re desperate.” Abed chuckled.

“I’m not-“ 

Abed put his finger up to Troy's lips, shushing him.

“Don’t even try and lie, sweetheart, I know how badly you wish I was fucking you,” Abed whispered. 

He whimpered and grabbed Abed's waist pulling him closer.

“It’s extremely difficult trying to not get hard right now,” Troy mumbled.

“Mmh.” He hummed, moving his lips to Troy's neck.

“Fuck!” Troy groaned as Abed sucked harder at the sensitive spot.

Troy chuckled before tugging Abed’s hair, pulling his lips away from his neck then he leaned in and kissed along Abed's jaw and sucked at the spot he knew drove him absolutely crazy. 

He moaned and gripped Troy's shoulders. 

“Baby-“ he whimpered.

“Hm,” Troy hummed against Abed’s neck.

“We have to go back to class.” He mumbled pushing him away gently.

“Fine!” Troy groaned and pecked Abed's lips.

“Sorry about the hickey, at least it’s not very noticeable.” Abed apologized.

Troy's cheeks flushed red.

“Sorry, I might have gotten slightly carried away with yours.” He mumbled.

“What do you mean carried away?! How noticeable?” Abed asked, trying to look at his neck.

He pulled out his phone and looked at it.

“Troy! Oh my god!” He gasped at the large purple hickey on his neck.

“It looks hot!” Troy shot back.

“Whatever, okay so I'll go back to class you follow two minutes after.” He mumbled.

“I’m sorry about the hickey, baby,” Troy said softly, giving Abed an apologetic look.

“Stop being so cute.” He pouted, hitting Troy's shoulder playfully.

“Never.” He smiled and pecked Abed's lips.

****

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly and it was time for Troy to start getting ready for the game. 

Troy may have looked completely normal from the outside but on the inside, he was freaking out. Abed was gonna be at his game and seconds ago he got a text from his dad saying he was gonna be there too. His dad never came to his games, so why now?

“Hey, you alright man?” George asked.

“I’m okay, just nervous,” Troy mumbled.

“You’re gonna do great dude, why are you nervous though? Superstar Quarterback Troy Barnes is never nervous.” He chuckled.

“My dad is coming to the game.” 

“Oh. It’s okay, I believe in you, it’ll be okay.” George smiled warmly.

“Yeah! Yeah, you’re right.” Troy said, confidence laced in his voice.

The team finished putting on their football stuff and left the locker room. George turned to Troy and smiled.

“Abeds here right?” He asked.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m nervous about, if my dad ever saw me with Abed he’d freak out. I’m so scared of hurting Abed, I’d hate myself if I ever hurt him, he’s so kind, gentle and pretty. Fuck, George, I’m so in love with him, it’s terrifying.” He rambled on the verge of tears.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s gonna turn out okay, I promise. He loves you too, I can see it in his eyes,” George assured.

He nodded unsurely.

Troy grabbed his hand and pulled him into a bro hug.

“I love you dude, you’re a really great friend,” Troy mumbled into his chest.

“Love you too. We should probably get on the field.” George smiled.

*** 

The game was over fast, Riverside easily beat Richmond Hill. Abed sat on the bleachers next to Nick and Clay, he had two purple streaks under his eyes and a purple beaded necklace hanging loosely around his neck. Troy was mesmerized by how beautiful he looked.

By the time George and Troy came out of the locker room after the game, everyone was mostly gone, everyone except, Nick, Clay and Abed.

Abed smiled at Troy and fiddled with the sleeves of his sweater. Nick and Clay attacked George with hugs, kisses and mumbles of congratulations.

“You played really great tonight,” Abed said shyly.

“Thanks for coming to my game. You look really cute.” He blushed, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind Abed's ear.

“You look really hot in your football uniform, it’s kinda unfair actually, how can you always look hot?” Abed pouted.

“I could ask you the same.” Troy chuckled.

"Can I kiss you?” Abed asked nervously.

Troy nodded and Abed leaned in to press a kiss to his lips.

_“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, BOY!?_ ” A booming voice shouted. 

Troy knew exactly who it was, he panicked and shoved Abed off him. Abed fell down and banged his nose against the bleachers. Troy's heart ached, he wanted to help him off the floor and hold him, apologizing frantically. 

“Were you kissing him?!” His dad spat.

“H-He kissed m-me. I don’t know w-why! H-he just did.” Troy stuttered, trying to hold his tears back.

Abed sat on the floor in shock as blood dripped down from his nose. 

“He better of, if you are gay, you aren’t my son!” He muttered. 

His dad pushed past him and walked to his car.

Tears poured down Troys cheeks.

“Abed I’m s-sorry, I didn’t mean to h-hurt you I-I-“ Troy frantically cried.

Clay helped Abed to his feet while Troy stood there in shock, his entire body shaking.

“Baby,” Troy said softly, reaching out for Abed.

Abed flinched, stepping back, Troy noticed the fear filling his eyes.

“Maybe, we should just be apart for a bit, okay?” Abed mumbled. 

“No. Please, please, I’m so fucking sorry Abed, I didn’t mean to, I swear, please don’t do this.” Troy sobbed.

Nick stepped in front of Abed. “Just breathe Troy,” He said quietly.

“I-I can’t- I can’t lose him, I’m-“ his voice shook with fear.

“Just for a bit. Just a little time apart.” Abed said.

“But I- I- I’m sorry.” Troy cried.

“It’s only temporary,” Abed mumbled.

“ _I love you, I love you so much Abed_.” Troy's voice came out strained and broken.

Clay and George stood back staring, unsure of what to do.

Abed leaned in and mumbled something to Nick then he walked over to Clay and George.

Troy bent down and pulled a towel out of his bag, handing it to Abed for his nose. 

“Just a little break,” Abed said softly and then took the towel from Troy and went to walk away.

“Wait.” He mumbled and slipped off his letterman jacket.

He draped it over Abeds shoulders.

“You looked cold, _I love you_.” Troy sobbed.

Abed stared back at him with teary eyes.

“Bye Troy.” He whispered before walking away. 

George gave Troy a sympathetic look then the four of them left. 

Troy fucked up, he just lost Abed, the most important person in his life, the person who could always make him smile and laugh, he lost him, and it was all his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop comments (They motivate me)


	7. I love you, and thats okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW; homophobia, mention of past deaths, implied sexual content
> 
> I say sorry in advance for spelling mistakes I'm so tired

Troy couldn’t move, his legs were weak and shaky, he couldn’t talk because his voice was gone. He couldn’t beg Abed to stay because he hurt him, Abed was scared of him.  He let his legs give out causing him to fall on the hard pavement just like where Abed fell when Troy shoved him. All he wanted was for Abed to hold him, he wanted him to press kisses all over his face and tell him that he wasn’t going anywhere. Troy said he loved him and all he wanted was for Abed to say it back but that wouldn’t happen because Abed was already gone, Troy was alone and maybe this was exactly where he should be. He pulled his knees into his chest and sobbed. He couldn’t breathe because Abed was his everything and once again, Abed was gone.

He felt a comforting hand be placed on his shoulder, he lifted his head and saw George sitting next to him.

“Hey,” George spoke softly. 

“Is he gone?’ Troy croaked.

“He just went home with Nick and Clay, he’s okay.” He replied.

In other words, he left. Troy tried to take in a breath but he couldn’t, he was gasping for air, his whole body was shaking. George wrapped his arms around him and he let his body completely fall into his embrace.

“It’s gonna be okay, just breathe,” George whispered.

“I-I can’t lose him.” Troy sobbed.

*******

Abed leaned his head against Nick's car window, deep in thought.

“Do you think I did the right thing?” He asked Clay, who sat next to him.

“I can’t answer that Abed, but I can help you find an answer.” Clay said.

Abed nodded and adjusted the bandage across his nose.

“What do you feel in your gut?” He questioned.

“I feel like I did the right thing, I just think Troy and I need a little time apart,” Abed mumbled.

“Okay, I think that’s fair, something you need to think about is your future, do you see Troy in your future?” Nick asked, looking back at Abed.

A small smile appeared on Abed’s face when he remembered his and Troy’s conversation from two nights ago.

**_Abed was lying next to Troy with his head resting on his chest, Troy's fingers gently combed through his hair and they talked about their futures. Abed normally hated talking about his future and anything else that included change. But with Troy, it was okay because Troy promised him he’d be right by his side till the year 3005._ **

**_"I’m gonna win the lottery, then I’ll propose to you and give you the most beautiful wedding and honeymoon.” Troy smiled._ **

**_“Oh yeah? What else will happen in our future, baby?” He asked._ **

**_“We will live in a really cool house that will have a room with a space simulator, another room that consists of an in-house movie theatre and frozen yogurt bar. There would also be a big master bathroom that has one of those showers with the benches because those are great for shower sex also, a separate bathtub with a tiny tv in front of it so we can take baths and watch tv together. Then there would be a big master bedroom, it would have one of those beds with the curtains on the sides so we could feel fancy and under the bed, there would be a box full of sexy things like lingerie, dildos and handcuffs or other kinky things like they use in 50 shade of Grey. Then anything else you want I’d give it to you.” Troy rambled._ **

**_Abed lifted his head from Troys chest and looked into his eyes, Troys cheeks were slightly flushed red and he had a wide smile on his face. The words were on the tip of Abed's tongue. He wanted to say them, he wanted to tell Troy how much he loved him but now probably wasn’t the right time so he just smiled and rested his forehead against Troys._ **

**_“That sounds perfect and very sexy.” He whispered._ **

**_“I know we are only in high school but Abed…?” Troy paused and put his hand on Abeds cheek. Abed lifted his head and looked into Troy's eyes again._ **

**_“Yes?” He whispered._ **

**_“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Troy said shyly._ **

**_“I want that too.” He whispered back and pressed a gentle kiss to Troy's lips._ **

Tears welled up in Abed’s eyes and a couple dripped down his face.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” He said quietly. 

*******

Troy's breath finally slowed down and he was able to talk normally again.

“Do you need a ride home?” George offered.

“I’m gonna tell my dad.” 

George choked on a breath. “You y-you’re gonna tell him t-that you’re gay?” George sputtered.

“He’s the reason I hurt Abed and the reason I don’t accept myself, I don’t even wanna think about my dad anymore, I don’t want to be near him, I don’t care, I just want to be with Abed.” Troy sobbed.

“If you need a place to stay, you can always stay with me.” George offered. 

“Thanks, man.” He smiled weakly.

George stood up and held his hand out for him to take, he grabbed his hand and pulled himself to his feet.

“I’m really proud of you Troy, Abed would be too,” George said softly.

“I hope so, I just want to get this over with so I don’t have to talk to my dad again.” He muttered.

*** 

“Do you want me to come in with you?” George offered.

“Thanks but I think I have to do this myself, could you wait here though?” He asked.

“Of course.” 

Troy nodded and stepped out of the car he stood outside his own house, hands shaky and breaths uneven. He had to do this, then he’d finally be free of his dad. Troy's feelings aren’t wrong, they are valid, he is valid. He is in love with Abed Nadir, a boy, and that’s okay. 

He twisted the doorknob and went inside quietly to start packing his things, he gathered the clothes from his closet along with his other belongings and put them in his suitcase. This wasn’t his home, this stopped being his home when his loving mother died. His mom loved everyone, she was such a kind, sweet, caring person and she always knew how to make Troy feel loved. He zipped up his suitcase and dragged it down the stairs.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His dad grumbled.

“I’m leaving,” Troy muttered.

“You can’t leave, you aren’t 18 yet.” He said.

“Are you going to stop me?” Troy asked.

“What has gotten into you!? Why do you want to leave all of a sudden?!” His dad snapped.

Troy stopped to look into his father’s eyes. “Because I’m gay! You make me feel like shit about it! You make me feel like it’s wrong and it isn’t fucking wrong! I’m tired of listening to the bull shit that comes out of your mouth!” 

“You’re kidding? Tell me you’re kidding?” His dad mumbled in shock.

Troy opened his mouth to respond then closed it, he wasn’t worth it, no matter what he said his dad wouldn’t change his mind.

“Bye.” He said before walking out of the house leaving his dad standing there alone and stunned. 

He dragged his suitcase to George’s car and put it in the back.

“How’d it go?” He questioned.

“I told him and he asked if I was kidding then I just left, he isn’t worth fighting with,” Troy mumbled.

“This is huge, I’m so proud of you man,” 

“Thanks.” He mumbled sadly.

“How are you feeling about Abed?” George asked as he started to drive.

“I miss him. I feel terrible, he’d looked scared of me.” He said as he began to cry.

George went to speak but got interrupted by his phone ringing.

“It’s Clay just a second.” He mumbled before answering it.

“Hey babe, what’s up?’

“I’m still with Troy, he’s gonna stay with me for a bit, Where's Abed?” George asked.

“Okay, I’ll ask him.” 

He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at Troy.

“Are you fine with them staying the night too? It’s totally okay if not.” George assured.

“It’s cool, it’s your house and they’re your boyfriends, how’s Abed?” He asked.

“Abed’s okay, he just went home.” 

Troy nodded. 

“Okay, he’s fine with it, see you in a bit, I love you.” 

I looked over at George, his cheeks were flushed red due to whatever Clay was saying. He hung up the phone and placed it back in his bag.

“Can you take me to Abed? I know he doesn’t want to see me and I should respect that but I just really want to tell him, then I’ll leave him alone.” Troy mumbled.

“Uhh, yeah, sure,” George replied nodding unsurely.

They drove back to Abed’s apartment and Troy could feel his heart begin to race, what if Abed slammed the door in his face and never wanted to see him again? 

“It’ll be okay,” George said softly as if he could read Troy's mind.

He nodded quickly, stepped out of the car and walked into the building. He stood in front of the door to Abed’s apartment, unsure of what to do, was he doing the right thing? Should he be here? Before his brain could get too out of control, he knocked.

Abed opened the door within seconds, a bandage was taped across the bridge of his nose, his eyes were red from crying and he still wore Troy's jacket.

“Look, I know you don’t want to see me right now, I promise I’ll leave right after I tell you this,” Troy said, struggling to hold back his tears.

His breaths were unsteady and he was at a loss for words staring at Abed in front of him, his gaze was so gentle, Troy just wanted to lean forwards and press kisses to his tear-stained cheeks. 

“I-I um,” Troy choked on a sob.

Abed reached out and took Troy’s hand in his, brushing his thumb over his knuckles.

“Just breathe, sweetheart, take your time,” Abed said softly.

Abed’s gaze met Troy's broken one. Abed was holding his hand, for the first time in a while he could actually take in a full breath. 

“I came out to my dad, I’m not living with him anymore, he’s the reason I h-hurt you and the reason I didn’t accept myself, but I think I do now, I don’t know, honestly Abed, I love you, I don’t care who knows it, I get to call you mine, I hope... I should be proud of that, I want to hold your hand and kiss you in the hallways of our school, I just want you, I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you for the rest of my life.” He rambled.

Abed let go of his hand and looked at him. Troy’s heart sank, did Abed not want him anymore?

Those thoughts were quickly pushed out of his brain when Abed lunged forwards and pulled him into his arms. “Oh baby, I’m so proud of you,” Abed whispered, holding him tighter. 

Troy broke down again because he was finally where he wanted to be all night, back in Abed’s arms.

Abed pulled back and looked at him.

“I’m so sorry for what I did to you,” Troy mumbled.

He just leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Troy’s forehead.

“I love you,” Abed whispered. 

“I love you too.” 

Troy looked up and noticed Abed’s scraped cheek.

“Was this because of me?” He asked hesitantly, his shaky fingers hovered over Abed's cheek. 

Abed took Troy's hand and kissed his knuckles.

“Yes, I’m okay though it’s okay, I know you won’t do it again.” He whispered.

“But it’s s-so messed Abed, I hurt you.” Troy sputtered.

“You were scared, you didn’t mean to hurt me, I know it wasn’t right Troy but you made a mistake and you know it was a mistake, I’m okay, I promise,” Abed assured.

He nodded and pecked his lips.

“Do you want to come in? We can watch Inspector Spacetime and cuddle?” Abed offered.

“I’d love that, you sure it’s okay if I stay?” He questioned.

“Most definitely.” He grinned.

“I just need to go get my stuff from George’s car, sorry, I literally have an entire suitcase, I technically don’t have a place to live, I mean George said I could stay with him so it’s fine, I’ll be fine.” Troy rambled.

“You know, baby, you can live with me. Living all by myself gets lonely, I know it’s not a super cool house but we can start living out our future fantasies early? I have a pretty nice shower.” Abed smirked.

“So, that means I get to wake up to you every morning?” Troy asked with hopeful eyes.

“And fall asleep next to me each night.” He said with a smile that made Troy's heart do backflips.

“I’m gonna go tell George and get my stuff and tell George! I love you! I love you!!” He beamed and kissed Abed right on the mouth.

“See you in a minute, Angel.” Abed chuckled and kissed his cheek. 

Troy hurried down the stairs of the apartment building and knocked on Georges’s window, slightly startling him. He rolled down his window and smiled at Troy.

“Someone looks happy.” He grinned.

“I really am! Abed just asked me to live with him!” He beamed.

“I’m really glad things worked out between you two, I’m really happy for you both and so proud of you Troy.” He said.

Troy never cried but George’s words made tears fall from his eyes. 

“Thank you. Thanks for everything man, you are a huge part of me learning how to accept myself.” Troy cried, happily.

“I love you, dude.” He smiled.

“Love you too, gogy.” Troy chuckled.

“Do not start that again!” George snorted.

He pulled his suitcase out of his car and shut the door.

“I’m sorry for keeping you out so late, go home to your boyfriends.” He waved.

“It’s not a problem, I’m just glad things worked out. Goodnight. See you tomorrow, great game by the way!” George beamed.

“You played really great too, see you tomorrow, buddy.” He smiled.

**

Abed was asleep on Troy's chest, lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink and he looked more beautiful than ever. Abed was Troy's boyfriend, they were in love, Troy was in love with the most beautiful boy to ever walk the earth and that was okay. His feelings were valid and he felt so lucky that Abed loved him back. 

**

“Baby, wake up,” Abed whispered, trailing kisses along his jaw.

He hummed and buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“No.” He whined.

“We have school,” Abed whispered ruffling Troy's hair a little. 

“But you’re so warm, I don’t wanna get up.” He whined.

“I know sweetheart, it's only the second day of the semester though, we have to go,” Abed whispered.

Troy finally lifted his head and looked into Abed’s eyes, his gaze was soft, loving and so gentle. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“You’re so beautiful in the morning and always,” Troy mumbled against his lips.

“You are stunning, perfect and so many other things, there aren’t enough words to describe you,” Abed replied, making his eyes water.

“Abed, it’s way too early to cry and I’m-” He sobbed. 

Abed stared at him in awe before leaning in and kissing both his cheeks.

“Don’t cry, baby.” He whispered.

He smiled through his tears and rested his head back on Abed’s chest. “Despite how much I love you like this, we need to get up.” He mumbled.

Troy whined and finally dragged himself out of bed. 

“Troy,” Abed said softly as he pulled on a pair of jeans.

“Hm,” He hummed in response.

“How do you wanna act at school? Same as always? Just lab partners right?” He questioned.

Troy smiled as he pulled Abed’s pink hoodie over his head. 

“Well, if we just act as lab partners how would everyone know you’re mine?” He grinned.

Abed flushed red and smiled at the floor.

“You want people to know we’re dating?” He asked.

“I’ve thought about this a lot.” Troy paused and stepped forwards to cup Abed’s face. 

“I love you, you make me so happy and that's all that matters, I can’t control who I fall in love with but I’m so happy it was you.” 

Abed was the one getting teary-eyed this time. He stood on his tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to Abed's lips.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too, forever and ever, babe,” Troy whispered back.

“Did you just make an Adam Sandler movie reference?” Abed chuckled.

“Maybe it might have been from ‘Click’ and that movie may or may not be able to make me sob every time I watch it.” He laughed.

He smiled and pulled Troy into a hug.

“Okay, we really have to go!” He said quickly.

Troy grabbed his letterman jacket off the hook and held it out to Abed.

“Do you wanna be super cliche and wear my jacket.” He asked, grinning like an idiot.

“Oh, absolutely.” He grinned back and put on his jacket.

They left their apartment and drove to school.

“You sure you’re up to doing this?” Abed blushed, fiddling with his sleeves.

“I’m sure, you don’t deserve to be hidden.” He whispered and kissed him gently.

“But baby, if you aren’t ready that’s okay.” He assured, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

Troy cupped his face and looked into his eyes. 

“I promise. I’m ready.” He said.

“I love you, I’ll be right here by your side the whole time.” He replied.

“I love you too.” 

“Forever and ever, babe.” He chuckled.

Troy laughed and covered Abed's face in kisses.

“I absolutely adore you.” He whispered.

Abed pressed one last kiss to Troy's lips before getting out of the car, he got out after him and took his hand in his.

They walked into school hand in hand, earning confused smiles from many people.

“You okay, baby?” Abed asked.

“I’m more than okay. Could I kiss you though?” Troy asked when they stopped at Abeds locker.

“Always.” He smiled.

He put his hands on his waist and pressed Abed against the lockers.

“I just want everyone to know you’re mine.” He smirked.

“All yours.” Abed grinned.

“That sounds so hot, what the fuck.” Troy muttered.

“Just kiss me.” He laughed.

“Gladly.” He whispered before pressing a kiss to Abed's lips.

He wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, pulling Troy's body against his.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Troy whimpered into the kiss.

He hummed in appreciation and bit Troys lip.

“Cool it on the PDA you two!” George chuckled.

He pulled away, cheeks flushed red, making George laugh.

“Why does school have to exist, I could be fucking you right now, I want to tie you up and make you beg, you know how much I love it when you beg,” Abed whispered against Troy's ear.

“Abed!” He squeaked and pulled away.

“Damn dude, literally no one has ever made him that flustered, I actually don’t think I’ve ever seen Troy flustered at all.” George pointed out.

“Hey! Shut up! I’ve seen how flustered you get around Nick and Clay, you have no right to talk.” Troy mumbled.

“Fine, sure, whatever, you got me.” George held his hands up in defence.

Troy smiled proudly and took Abed's hand again.

“See you later man, we should all hang out!” He suggested.

“Definitely! I’ll text you!” George replied.

“We can totally make out in the back of the class right? The teacher doesn’t really pay attention.” Troy questioned.

“We are totally gonna make out.” He grinned.

When they walked through the door Brian looked at them and whispered something in Kody's ear. They were 10 minutes late and the teacher wasn’t even there yet. Troy felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. A text Brian.

_**➡️Yo dude, is he doing your homework or something? Why is he wearing your jacket? Sorry, you have to work with such a loser.** _

**⬅️we literally haven’t gotten homework dumbass, he’s wearing my jacket because I let him wear it**

  
  


**_➡️why?_ **

Troy put his phone down and looked at his boyfriend.

“You wanna make out?” He smirked.

Abed chuckled and nodded. He scooted his chair forwards and leaned in to kiss him, he was fast to push his tongue in Abed’s mouth and tangle his fingers in his hair.

“Damn it my other classes are gonna be boring, why can’t you be in all my classes?” Troy panted.

“You should meet me at my locker in between classes so we can make out,” Abed suggested.

“Definitely.” 

Troy smiled softly and pressed a gentle kiss to Abed's cheek.

“I love you, so fucking much.” He whispered against his lips.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Abed replied.

Troy rested his head on Abed's shoulder, he put an arm around him and kissed the top of his head.

**_➡️ seriously? He’s your boyfriend?_ **

**⬅️ crazy right? I can’t believe it sometimes either**

He set his phone down and leaned all his weight against Abed, things were good, really good. He finally figured out how to make himself happy and Abed was the answer. 

“Baby,” Abed whispered.

“Yes, my love?” He replied. 

“You wanna ditch school? It’s only the second day so we can’t miss that much right? Besides, you look so fucking hot and I literally will not be able to keep my hands off you.” He chuckled.

“Thank god you asked! Let’s go!” Troy said, jumping out of his chair. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments. your comments motivate me so much also next chapter will probably just be smut, don't worry I'll also make it fluffy.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m gonna make this a series :)


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